Malinda, Michelle, Jack and Gage



Michelle, Gage and Jack - April 2011



Mitchell and Malinda, April 2011



It has been almost three weeks since we lost 4 precious lives on this earth. On Friday, May 13, 2011, Malinda, Michelle, Jack and Gage Kern were killed in a sensless act of violence. They were murdered in their sleep by Michelle's ex-boyfriend. He was also the father of Jack and Gage. Michelle and the boys were living at her parents home. Mike and Bobby (Malinda and Michelle's parents) were in Salt Lake at the time of the tragedy. Malinda was staying overnight for that one night because she wanted to help her big sister out. Malinda was living with Brittany and Shaun until Mitchell finished up his tour in Iraq.

        This has been a roller coaster of emotions for me. If it hurts me this badly, I can only imagine what Mike, Bobby and Mitchell are going through.

        I didn't know Michelle and her boys very well, but we had spent the 4th of July together last year, and while Mitch was home for R and R, just 2 weeks before this happened, we all got together, 2 families united, and had a wonderful evening together. It is a memory that I will cherish forever.

        We were all at Brittany and Shaun's home. We cooked Papa Murphy's pizza, had soda, and Brittany's "homemade" caesar salad. Jack was so cute - he kept carrying around this bottle of Orange Soda. I'm guessing that was his favorite. Bobby told him, "If someone else wants some orange soda, you need to share with them, okay?" He just looked at his grandma and nodded with his big, beautiful eyes.

        Gage was crawling around and exploring this new place. I remember he had on these super cute blue overalls, and I made a mental note to myself to get my baby boy a pair of those. Gage had big blue eyes with fire red hair. And he was smiling all the time! Michelle was keeping a watchful eye on her boys. They both seemed to gravitate towards grandpa though. There wasn't a time I saw Mike without a child on his lap. It was so sweet how enamored they all were with each other.

        Malinda was beside herself with happiness that Mitch was home. It was his last day of R and R and he would be returning to Iraq in the morning, but she had such a sweet smile on her face. And everything she did, you could tell it was for Mitch. Malinda was helping Michelle with the boys. She loved those babies. And they loved their Aunt Malinda. We all laughing and telling stories about each other. I remember Michelle telling us how Malinda didn't know how to make toast. Michelle and her parents had been teasing Malinda about not being able to make toast, and Malinda had told them that she did know how. They told her to prove it. I think Malinda was around 13 or so? And they watched Malinda go to the kitchen and put bread in the toaster. Then they watched her get out her cell phone and call a friend and quietly ask, "how do I make it pop up?" It was so cute. Malinda was laughing and it was so sweet.



Brittany, Malinda, Mitch and Byron



        After dinner, Mike, Bobby, Michelle and the boys went home to put the boys to bed, and we all played Just Dance on the Wii. Brittany and Malinda always won. It was so fun to have everyone dancing and just enjoying each others company.

       Mitch always called Malinda "Dinda Ann". And Brittany always called Malinda her baby. Brittany was taking care of Malinda while Mitch was in Iraq.
       A few weeks before Mitch came home for R and R, Brittany, Shaun, Malinda, Carl and I all got together and went to dinner at Applebee's and then bowling at Skyline Lanes. I remember that Malinda was SO excited that Mitch was going to be home the next week, and she kept talking about him. While we were bowling, Malinda was spanking us all! She always bowled the same exact way, and that ball would always go straight down the lane and into the middle of the pins. And she would always turn around and give a little smile. I am so happy that we were able to spend that time with her.
       When Mitch came home for R and R the next week, he totally surprised everyone! He told us all that he was flying in on Friday morning really early. Well, he showed up on Monday night and surprised us all! He didn't even tell Malinda that he was coming home early. What a great surprise for her!

       During his time back, we all spent a lot of time together. Easter was so fun because we were talking about Mitch and Malinda's wedding, and I was asking her all sorts of questions about it. She was so excited because she had put a deposit down at Rose River Receptions, and she was freaking out a little bit because it was so expensive. I remember thinking about how Malinda was there when I picked my wedding dress. Her and Brittany were the only ones that initially liked the dress I picked. I remember turning around and saying, "I love this dress!" and everyone else but Malinda and Brittany were giving me disgusted looks. Malinda had a smile on her face and was nodding her head and gave me a thumbs up. I asked Malinda when she was going dress shopping and she said she didn't know yet. I was hoping I'd get to be there for her like she was for me. Mitch and Malinda were got engaged the day before Carl and I did.



Mitchell and Malinda - April 2011



      

       When we were at the airport to get Mitch back to Iraq at the end of April, I took a picture of Mitchell and Malinda. I remember thinking, "Please, Heavenly Father, let him come home safely so that this isn't the last picture taken of them together." How quickly things can change.

       President Thomas S. Monson gave a talk in the October 2008 General Conference called, "Finding Joy in the Journey". I'd like to share with you a few excerpts of that talk that have really stuck out for me.

         "I begin by mentioning one of the most inevitable aspects of our lives here upon the earth, and that is change. At one time or another we’ve all heard some form of the familiar adage: “Nothing is as constant as change.” Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly. Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes. The difference between the changes in my life and the changes in yours is only in the details.

       Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes. This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now. Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows."

         Since the tragic events of May 13, I have really been pondering on family and eternal families. I am so grateful that I am sealed to my family for time and eternity. I am so grateful that I am sealed to my wonderful husband Carl for time and all eternity. After learning details of what happened, and processing them, I am left with gratitude for the knowledge I have that we will see these four special people once again. This life here on Earth isn't the end. Death seems so permanent here and now, but once I put on my "eternal perspective" glasses, I realize that it isn't permanent. Does that mean that it hurts less? Absolutely not. I see the hurt and pain in Mitchell's eyes. I see it in Mike and Bobby. I see it in Brittany and Shaun. Sometimes I see it in myself. 

         I feel that I have grown closer to my husband, my family, and most importantly my Father in Heaven. I have said more prayers that I thought possible. I have felt the prayers of others. I have felt the comforting Spirit of our Father in Heaven.

         I will never forget Michelle and her boys Jack and Gage. I will never forget my sister Malinda. I will never forget Mike and Bobby, for they have become a part of my family, and they will always be family. They are such special people, and they are family.

         Family is so important. Hug your children. Tell those you love that you love them. We may only be on this Earth for a short time, but it is important to say and do those important things.

         One last thing from President Monson's talk: I remember hearing him telling us to make memories with our families. Because soon, that's all we'll have of our family. I know that we will see our families again someday. I know that is true because I have felt the truthfulness of it through the Spirit of the Lord. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have, and I hope to be able to share that with those who don't know. I know that Jesus lives. And I know that he loves each and every one of us. We love you Mike and Bobby.

       We love you, Michelle. We love you Jack. We love you Gage. We love you Malinda. We miss you all so much every day. We think about you all the time. We will see you soon.